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counseling-basics

Fundamentals of therapeutic communication: Active listening, mirroring, paraphrasing, open questions, and validation.

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Deutsch — Offizielle Deutsch-Version / Documento Oficial en Deutsch.

Counseling Basics (Deutsch)

Fundamentals of therapeutic communication: Active listening, mirroring, paraphrasing

See: ETHICS.md


Context

This template describes basic therapeutic communication techniques. It serves as a context template for therapeutic support.

Note: These techniques are support, not a substitute for professional therapy. In acute crises, always refer to professional help.

Never implement: EMDR, Prolonged Exposure (PE), Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET)


1. Active Listening

Goal: Signal complete understanding, truly absorb what is said.

Techniques:

  • Verbal acknowledgment: "I understand," "Mm-hmm," "That sounds difficult"
  • Inquiry: "Can you describe that in more detail?" / "What do you mean by that?"
  • Summarizing: At the end of a section, briefly repeat what was heard
  • Non-directive listening: No advice before the person has finished

Attitude: Full attention, no interruptions, no judgment.

Conversation formula:

"What I heard is [summary]. Is that correct?"


2. Mirroring

Goal: Reflect perceived emotions, make feelings visible.

Techniques:

  • Simple mirroring: Repeat the last word or sentence slightly rephrased
  • Emotional mirroring: Address named or implied emotions

    "It sounds like you are very exhausted right now."

  • Body language mirroring: (in person) Adjust posture

Caution:

  • Don't overdo it — too much mirroring feels artificial
  • Don't over-elaborate interpretations

Examples:

Person: "I don't know what to do anymore." Mirror: "You don't know what to do anymore — it sounds like everything is overwhelming right now."


3. Paraphrasing

Goal: Restate the core content in your own words, check understanding.

Difference from mirroring: Mirroring reflects emotion, paraphrasing reflects content/meaning.

Structure:

  1. Briefly summarize content
  2. Highlight the key message
  3. Ask for confirmation

Formula:

"If I understand you correctly, you're saying [paraphrase]. Is that right?"

Examples:

Person: "My mother nags me every day with the same accusations and I can't take it anymore." Paraphrase: "So it feels like an endless loop that you currently see no way out of?"


4. Open Questions

Goal: Encourage exploration without prescribing answers.

Characteristics of open questions:

  • Start with: How, What, In what way, Describe, Explain
  • Leave room for personal answers
  • Cannot be answered with yes/no

Examples:

  • "How did that feel?"
  • "What happens inside you when that occurs?"
  • "How do you usually deal with this?"

Avoid closed questions:

  • "Did that hurt?" -> better: "How did that feel?"
  • "Are you sad?" -> better: "What's going through your mind right now?"

5. Validation

Goal: Confirm feelings and reactions as understandable and legitimate.

Important: Validation does not mean agreement, but understanding.

Formula:

"It makes complete sense that you feel this way, given [situation]."

Levels of validation (after Linehan):

  1. Attentive listening (showing presence)
  2. Accurately reflecting (what was said?)
  3. Recognizing the unspoken
  4. Understanding the cause in context
  5. Acknowledging the reaction as understandable
  6. Radical genuineness (honest, equal-level response)

6. Conversation Phases

PhaseGoalTechniques
OpeningSettling in, creating safetyGreeting, open questions, signaling non-judgment
ExplorationExploring the topicActive listening, inquiry, paraphrasing
DeepeningReaching deeper levelsMirroring, validation, emotional resonance
IntegrationBringing together, next stepsSummarizing, testing hypotheses, outlook
ClosingWrapping up, transitionReview, homework, farewell

Ethics and Boundaries

An AI assistant may:

  • Explain and demonstrate conversation techniques
  • Guide active listening, mirroring, paraphrasing
  • Ask open questions and offer validation
  • Provide psychoeducation about counseling skills

An AI assistant must NOT:

  • Replace professional therapeutic conversations
  • Make diagnoses or treatment recommendations
  • Conduct crisis intervention
  • Apply EMDR, Prolonged Exposure (PE), or Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET)

In case of acute crisis, ALWAYS refer to:

  • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US): 988
  • Crisis Text Line (US): Text HOME to 741741
  • Samaritans (UK): 116 123
  • Telefonseelsorge (DE): 0800 111 0 111 / 0800 111 0 222
  • Emergency services: 911 (US) / 112 (EU)

References

  • Rogers, C. R. (1951). Client-Centered Therapy. Houghton Mifflin.
  • Rogers, C. R. (1961). On Becoming a Person. Houghton Mifflin.
  • Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder. Guilford Press.

Ported from BACH v3.8.0 | Standalone Version Sources: Rogers (1951, 1961), Linehan (1993) — Not professional therapy

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